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How have the women in Hevra Kadisha’s unit been coping?

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How have the women in Hevra Kadisha’s unit been coping?



In the October 6 Magazine, we published a chillingly prescient three-page article on the holy and challenging work done by the IDF’s special Identification and Hevra Kadisha Women’s Unit, which operates under the Chief Rabbinate of the IDF. We interviewed Sharon Laufer, who recruited the women for the first three cohorts of this unit.

To recap: In the last 10 years, more women have entered combat units in the army, thus increasing the risk of more female casualties. Therefore, the IDF Rabbinate trained women volunteers to assist in the identification process and prepare for the burial of a female fallen soldier, who is called a halala. (A male is called a halal.) All volunteers had previous experience in their local burial societies (hevra kadiska).

This past July, the IDF Rabbinate decided to officially draft and categorize these women volunteers as soldiers serving in the reserves. 

This week, we catch up with Laufer to learn what she and other women in the unit have been doing since October 7 and how they’ve been coping. They have been dealing with IDF (not civilian) casualties.

When were you called up?

Saturday night, October 7. We knew something was happening during the day, so I turned on my phone and got a message that I needed to leave when Shabbat was over. I took one of the other women from Efrat with me. We got to Shura, the facility in Ramla where bodies of soldiers are housed while in the identification process. It was a very difficult sight. Some women had already been working during the day to start the identification process.

THE OCT. 25 funeral of three members of the Sharabi family – Lian, Noya and Yahel – murdered in Kibbutz Be’eri on Oct. 7 (credit: Chaim Goldberg/Flash90)

My amazingly strong group of women were waiting for the halalot (fallen female soldiers) with our gowns, gloves, and masks on as we stood in the doorway of our room, in the building that we know so well… the building that we have worked in and trained in.

Nothing prepared us for what came next. The halls were filled with stretcher after stretcher, on which the halalot were waiting to be received at the next station in their journey.

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We worked through the night. I don’t even remember how many hours; I think it was a 12-hour shift, and we were on call for the next two weeks for 8- to 12-hour shifts every day. For me, it was from Saturday night through Thursday, and then I was off for Friday and Shabbat.

The following week, I was doing eight-hour shifts; and in the middle of the week, we started konenut (on-call) shifts from home. By Saturday night at the end of the first week, we had caught up with the quantity of halalot that were waiting to be identified. 

The recommendation was that from Tuesday, October 17, we would have konenut from home, which meant that if I got a notification, I could leave my house in five minutes and get to the base in an hour. 

We have several teams working on a shift basis. Each team stays with the same halala through the whole process from identification to burial preparation, unless the identification happened at the end of the day and went over into the next day. In that case, the team that was on the next shift did the burial preparation.

We were on 24/7 shifts, and the women from a similar unit up North started coming down the second week to relieve some of the women from the central part of the country. Once an identity was confirmed, the families were notified, and then we prepared the body for burial. It’s a process for each fallen soldier that takes time.

I prefer to be on the base rather than waiting at home to be called because, like everyone else, at least I feel like I’m doing something. And even when I’m sitting at home, there is always someone from my women’s team at the base who is ready to receive any halala that comes in.

Can you detail the process?

After reception has recorded their details, we escort the halalot to the next station in their journey at Shura. That will be the treatment room. 

It is not like any other treatment room they [female soldiers] had been in before for a massage, a manicure, or a pedicure. We take care of every halala there, aware of each neshama (soul), but not in a way that any of us or they could have imagined.

In this situation, it is not like with a regular taharah [purification before burial] because when someone dies al kiddush Hashem [for being a Jew], there is no taharah. Everything with blood is buried with the body. We patch up the wounds with absorbent cotton, and then wrap them in the shrouds.

There are many wounds. We treat them as gently as we can. We feel our hearts touching theirs as we wrap them in a linen winding sheet. We then ask for mehila (forgiveness). 

We also look for any personal effects or jewelry that may not have been noticed during the medical examination. These are precious treasures that we can give back to the family. 

We prepare the wooden aron (coffin) that will carry each one to the next station on her journey. The smell of freshly sawed wood will never be the same for me. We lift and gently place each one in her aron and again ask for mehila.

For each one, we pray that our hands have done her life justice. We pray that her death not be in vain, and may her journey toward the light be without pain and may Hashem receive her sacrifice as an unfathomable kiddush Hashem (sanctification of God’s name) and may her neshama find peace. 

I pray also, may our tears and our hearts be healed from bearing witness to their sacrifice.

What about self-care for yourselves and the psychological aspect?

When I’m home, I’m either writing in my journal or being creative in the kitchen. 

On the base, each team has a debriefing at the end of each shift to discuss any problems or difficulties that occurred during that shift. Everyone recognizes the importance of the work being done, and we take care of one another. I’ve made it a point to call everyone on my shift to see how they’re doing. 

Every day there is a mental health officer who checks in with us. Avigayil Bar-Asher, who has been the commander of the unit since 2016, calls us and even calls our spouses to see how they’re doing. We have had many sessions where we were able to speak about the most difficult situations we had dealt with, individually, over the last few weeks. We feel very supported.

During the first week, when I left home in the morning to drive to the base, I got into my car and it still smelled of death and decay from the day before. Each day at the end of my shift, I could still smell it in my hair, my clothing, my shoes. That was really hard because even after I got home, after taking a shower and having a full night’s sleep, I’d get back in the car the following morning and the smell was still there. I couldn’t shake that.

One day I had come home early and I was cooking dinner. I was frying an onion, and it had that same smell! I didn’t know if I could continue cooking. So I looked at the onion and I thought, ‘I’m cooking this for sustenance, and I need to let this association go away.’ And then, after a few deep breaths, I was able to cook and eat the onion. A few days later I cooked more onions and did not have that association.

It’s important to deal with these feelings immediately. When they rise within me, I don’t push them away; I look at them and I confront them and try to see multiple sides of what I’m looking at, with the knowledge of where it comes from – whether from anxiety or fear – and then I need to take it to a place of ‘Okay, I’m doing something healthy for myself or my family, and it’s not associated with this image of death in my consciousness.’

Did you experience a different kind of bonding during this time with your female colleagues?

The regular teams were on call the first week. During the second week, they started bringing in women who hadn’t yet been trained in the identification process, although they were experienced hevra kadisha people. If you’re on a team working with one of the halalot, of course you’re going to form a relationship with all the women on that team. There is definitely a stronger connection among all of us now.

This is a moment and a memory that we will share for the rest of our lives. And just as there is a camaraderie among the women on my team, it also exists with all the reserve soldiers on the base who are doing the same thing with the halalim [the bodies of fallen male soldiers]. There are haredim [ultra-Orthodox], secular, and religious individuals all working together. It’s quite an amazing sight and a true moment of unity. 

The IDF have come to understand that they can rely on this group of exceptional women that is committed, able, and available to help in any way needed. They know they can call any hour of the day, and whoever is available says, “I will come.” 

To each of my dear partners who do this work with me, I want to say thank you for giving me strength in those very difficult moments, thank you for letting me support you and for standing side by side as a team full of courage and dedication. 

You are, each in your own way, women of iron, with hearts of gold and souls filled with light. ■

The writer is an award-winning journalist, director of Raise Your Spirits Theatre, Mikva the Musical, and the Na’na and Hamra Playback troupes, and editor-in-chief of WholeFamily.com.





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Hamas offer to free American hostage a calculated move as Gaza talks stall – analysis

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Hamas offer to free American hostage a calculated move as Gaza talks stall – analysis



Hamas claimed on Friday that it was ready to engage in negotiations that have dragged on for two weeks in Doha as a ceasefire holds in Gaza. Hamas is playing for time, and it is receiving a ceasefire for Ramadan.,

There is no urgency in Jerusalem to do a deal with Hamas. The US is focused on Ukraine at the moment and the chances of a ceasefire deal with Moscow. As such, Hamas sought to grab the spotlight on March 14 with a claim it was ready to release Edan Alexander, a hostage held in Gaza who holds US and Israeli citizenship.

Hamas said it had “received a proposal from mediators yesterday to resume negotiations, and responded responsibly and positively.” This apparently refers to various proposals floated since March 1. On March 1, the first phase of the ceasefire and hostage deal ended. Thirty-three hostages had been released in 42 days. Israel refused to move to phase two of the deal, which would have seen the rest of the hostages released and an end to the war and the IDF withdrawal from the Philadelphi corridor.

In general, Israel has been unable to get a deal with Hamas and has waited for the US to make the move. US President Donald Trump had been keen to see the hostages released, but he can’t wave a magic wand.

Trump’s envoy, Steve Witkoff, was able to get the mid-January ceasefire deal to materialize. Reports indicate that he has sought to bridge the gaps between Israel refusing to move to phase two and Hamas refusing to extend phase one. Reports say that the proposals in Doha relate to a deal to free several living hostages and some deceased hostages for up to 60 days or more of ceasefire. This would represent far fewer hostages than were released in previous deals.

Palestinian Hamas gather at the site of the handing over of the bodies of four Israeli hostages in Khan Yunis in the southern Gaza on February 20, 2025. (credit: EYAD BABA/AFP via Getty Images)

Clearly, the Hamas goal is to get Israel to agree to less of its people being returned.

Hamas thinks that the US hostages held in Gaza are more important

Hamas thinks that the US hostages held in Gaza are more important because they can use a release of these hostages to potentially gain something. Hamas said on March 14 that it would release Edan Alexander, whom it called a “Zionist soldier,” and the remains of four other “dual citizenship” hostages. These are presumed to be deceased American hostages held in Gaza.

Reports have named them as Omer Neutra, Itay Chen, Judith Weinstein, and her husband, Gadi Haggai. Neutra’s parents spoke at the Republican convention in 2024. He was later declared to have been killed on October 7. “We reaffirm our full readiness to engage in negotiations and reach a comprehensive agreement on the issues of the second phase, and call for obligating the occupation to fully implement its commitments,” Hamas said.

Israel’s Prime Minister’s Office put out a statement on Friday in response to the apparent Hamas offer. “While Israel accepted the Witkoff framework, Hamas persists in its refusal and continues to wage psychological warfare against hostage families. The Prime Minister will convene the ministerial team tomorrow evening for a detailed briefing from the negotiating team, and to decide on steps to free the hostages and achieve all our war objectives.”

Meanwhile, other issues relating to the hostages appear to be in motion. Reports that Adam Boehler had withdrawn his nomination to be the US administration’s hostage envoy. However, it appears he will stay focused on US citizens detained or held abroad.


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Boehler had been in the spotlight in early March when reports emerged that the US was having direct talks with Hamas. Israel’s government was put in a bind with this report. Jerusalem is afraid of angering Trump or even pushing back on Trump’s moves. As such, it was clear Israel’s government didn’t like the idea of an envoy talking directly to Hamas, but they figured they would let this go on and hope that Boehler would misstep.

That’s what happened when Boehler went on Israeli media for interviews. It didn’t go well, and he was reported to be sidelined. It wasn’t clear if this was because of Israeli pressure or perhaps because he was perceived to have horned in on Witkoff’s work or muddied the waters of the talks.

The question is whether Hamas said it would release Alexander and other Americans in order to try to keep the Boehler track of talks ongoing or if Hamas is trying to get a separate deal with the US. It appears Hamas was putting out claims that it was not communicating in public. This has left mediators nonplussed in the US and Israel. Witkoff characterized the Hamas demands as “unrealistic,” reports said.

So far, there is a lack of clarity on what Hamas is up to. What does seem clear is that Hamas has received a Ramadan ceasefire and not had to turn over any hostages for weeks. Hamas is recuperating and recovering and recruiting. In Israel, demonstrators who support the hostages and their families turned out on March 15 to demand that the hostages be returned.

Even as Hamas recruits, it continues to threaten Israel. The IDF said on March 15 that “two terrorists were identified operating a drone that posed a threat to IDF troops in the area of Beit Lahia. The IDF struck the terrorists.” Sources in Gaza claimed up to nine people were killed, which would make this the most deadly day of the ceasefire in weeks. Hamas believes it can keep the ceasefire and not have to turn over any hostages.

It is unclear if there is a quiet understanding behind the scenes on all sides that Ramadan will be quiet and Hamas will not have to do anything in return for receiving its free ceasefire. Last year, during Ramadan, there was also less intensity to the fighting in Gaza, but the IDF was still operating against Hamas. At the moment, Hamas controls most of Gaza and thinks it has won the war. It assumes Israel’s current leadership doesn’t want to remove Hamas and that Israel prefers to claim that it will defeat Hamas but not actually go back into Gaza.

Hamas also assumes it can hold onto the hostages for years into the future, releasing a few here and there to receive months of ceasefire each time and then dragging out negotiations between the ceasefires as it is doing now.

Hamas believes that inertia now favors Hamas. It likely assumes that only when elections happen in Israel or there is some incentive for Jerusalem to return to fighting, that there might be another war, and otherwise, Hamas can do as it wants. Hamas has already murdered more than 1,000 people, more Jews in one day than at any time since the Shoah, and it continues to run Gaza after 17 months. It thinks Israel is incapable of defeating it or that interests in Israel prefer to keep Hamas in power and not replace it. Hamas will have to wait and see if this is the case. Until then, it will continue to float various hostage release concepts, as it did throughout 2024, to try to create short news cycles and controversy that favor Hamas as it stalls the negotiations. 





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Netanyahu to hold talks as Hamas officials say Gaza talks have ‘failed’

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Netanyahu to hold talks as Hamas officials say Gaza talks have ‘failed’



Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is set to hold consultations on Saturday evening following the Israeli delegation’s return from Gaza hostage deal talks in the Qatari capital of Doha.

Israel accused Hamas of deviating from the American proposal for a ceasefire extension after the terror organization announced on Friday that it had agreed to release American-Israeli hostage Edan Alexander from Gaza captivity.

Hamas also said it would return the remains of four deceased hostages with American citizenship: Omer Neutra, Itay Chen, Gadi Haggai, and Judy Weinstein Haggai. Israeli officials previously confirmed the deaths of all four hostages named by Hamas.

US special envoy to the Middle East Steve Witkoff dismissed Hamas’s offer on Friday, warning the Palestinian terror organization that it could no longer play for time with a ceasefire and hostage deal. 

Hamas terrorists seen before a hostage release in Gaza City, February 1, 2025 (credit: Ali Hassan/Flash90)

Gaza hostage deal talks have ‘failed,’ Hamas official tells BBC Arabic

Earlier on Saturday, Hamas officials told BBC Arabic that discussions on the continuation of a Gaza hostage and ceasefire deal have failed.

Additionally, Dr. Tarek Fahmy, a professor of political science, told the BBC that despite a lack of movement in talks, he does not believe fighting will continue in the same capacity it did before the recent ceasefire.

Fahmy stressed he believed “there will be no resumption of the war, despite reports that Israel is preparing to launch qualitative strikes” after the ceasefire expires.

Talks continued throughout the weekend as a Hamas delegation led by Khalil al-Khayya visited Cairo for updates on the negotiations in Qatar.

Amichai Stein contributed to this report.





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Millionaire refugees: The charged debate over UNRWA’s defining policy and its future

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Millionaire refugees: The charged debate over UNRWA’s defining policy and its future



Despite the growing criticism, Israel is standing firm in its attempt to banish the United Nations Relief and Works Agency from operating in its territory.

Since its ban came into effect on January 30, Israeli authorities have severed coordination ties with the agency, shut down schools in east Jerusalem, and effectively forced international staff to leave.

The government’s decision was largely driven by its expanding allegations that UNRWA employees hold links to terrorist organizations.

The fallout has been swift. Countries such as the United States, Canada, New Zealand, and the European Union have suspended or withdrawn funding, citing concerns over neutrality.

Beyond the political maneuvering and aid cuts, the issue has added fresh scrutiny to a decades-old debate that remains unresolved: Who qualifies as a Palestinian refugee? And should this status be inherited indefinitely – even by millionaires?

UNDER UNRWA’s unique framework, all descendants of Palestinian refugees “who lost both their home and means of livelihood… are eligible for refugee status,” regardless of wealth or nationality. Here, billionaire Zahwa Arafat poses in front of a portrait of her late father Yasser Arafat in 2011. (credit: MATTHEW MIRABELLI/AFP VIA GETTY IMAGES)

A refugee definition unlike any other

UNRWA was created shortly after the 1948 Arab-Israeli war to assist 750,000 Palestinians displaced by the conflict. Today, its registry lists over six million refugees.

Critics argue that no other refugee group in the world operates with this mandate.

“Unlike every other refugee crisis in history, Palestinian refugees don’t decrease in number – they increase. UNRWA doesn’t resettle, it perpetuates,” says Dina Rovner, legal adviser for UN Watch.​ “The result? A crisis that has lasted decades longer than any other.”

Among those classified as Palestinian refugees is Jordanian-American real estate mogul Mohamed Hadid and his five millionaire children, including supermodels Bella and Gigi Hadid. Twenty-nine-year-old Zahwa Arafat, the billionaire daughter of former Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat, also retains this status.

Under UNRWA’s unique framework, all descendants of Palestinian refugees “who lost both their home and means of livelihood in Mandate Palestine between 1946-1948 are eligible for refugee status,” regardless of wealth or nationality – a stark contrast to the Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR), which removes individuals from its registries once they are resettled or naturalized.


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UNRWA, though, asserts that Palestinian refugee status is determined by the UN General Assembly, not the agency itself.

“Palestinian refugees were recognized under Resolution 194 before UNRWA existed, where human rights were not subjected to economic status,” says Jonathan Fowler, UNRWA’s senior communications manager. “In mass displacements, refugee status applies collectively and passes through generations, as seen with Afghan, Sudanese, and Sahrawi refugees”

“Yet, the difference is striking. After WWII, millions were displaced, primarily in Europe, but around 1.5 million were resettled by temporary UN agencies before UNHCR took over in 1952. In contrast, 77 years later, UNRWA remains a permanent institution, even as many, like the 2.4 million in Jordan who hold citizenship, continue receiving its assistance.”

This raises a pivotal question: Does UNRWA’s approach maintain statelessness rather than resolving it?

The debate over disparities

The controversy extends beyond definitions. Critics hold that UNRWA’s budget and staff allocation raise questions about its efficiency compared to other refugee agencies.

When first established, UNRWA’s annual budget was 110 times greater than UNHCRs. Today, it employs 30,000 staff for nearly six million refugees – a 1:200 ratio. In contrast, UNHCR, which serves around 32 million refugees globally, operates with 20,000 staff, translating to one staff member per 1,600 refugees.

“There is a clear inconsistency in how the world treats the Palestinians compared to other refugees,” says Rovner. “If they were under the UNHCR, the majority would not be considered eligible.”

Fowler counters the criticism, explaining that UNRWA’s economic and service model is fundamentally different and of significant value. “It was designed as a sustained relief and works program until a viable solution is achieved, much like the 1930s US Tennessee Valley Authority.” Moreover, he adds, “the value for money is extraordinary – hiring locals not only brings local benefits but also costs 40%-50% less than employing internationals.”

UNRWA under fire

As the debate over refugee classification rages on, Israel’s reports of UNRWA’s connections to terrorism have also dominated recent discussions. Citing its intelligence findings, Israeli authorities maintain that 10% of the agency’s senior educators in Gaza have ties to Hamas or Palestinian Islamic Jihad.

“UNRWA’s response is always the same – to deflect, deny, and cover up. They never take responsibility. They claim to be a ‘humanitarian backbone’ in Gaza but promote Hamas propaganda, like it did with the Gaza famine narrative, which has been totally debunked,” charges Rovner.

However, there are also claims that UNRWA is being targeted politically, as Fowler indicates: “There’s a barrage of misinformation about who we are and who we’re not. We share all our staff lists with regional authorities, including Israel, and have never received pushback about specific employees before.”

Despite Israel’s push to dismantle UNRWA, many European nations have since reinstated funding after reviewing oversight measures and accounting for its critical humanitarian role. Fowler points to the recently commissioned and independent Colonna Report, which found UNRWA to have more robust neutrality standards than any other UN agency. Still, critics like Rovner, remain unconvinced, contending that the problem is systemic.

What happens if UNRWA does disappear?

With increasing calls within Israel and the United States to abolish UNRWA, the question arises: If UNRWA disappears, what happens next?

Fowler says that the organization has no intention of existing indefinitely, but it continues so far as the situation remains unresolved.

“Abolishing UNRWA ignores reality,” observes Fowler. “We are often thanked by Israeli authorities, albeit at the moment not so openly, for the work we do, because without us, the responsibility will fall on them.”

The topic of reform has come up quite a lot where UNRWA and the UN at large are concerned. Some believe that redefining Palestinian refugees under UNHCR rules could force a shift in the political deadlock. Others, though, insist not only is it too little, too late for reforms, but that they are insufficient in addressing the deeper issues.

“As long as UNRWA exists, there will always be a Palestinian right-of-return narrative that keeps the conflict alive. Palestinians have to step up to the plate and take responsibility for their own future. Without Palestinian self-determination, chances of a prosperous future are slim,” says Rovner.

Questions without answers

With funding cuts, Israeli bans, and growing global pressure, UNRWA finds itself at a crossroads. Today, it is continuing to operate, even on a limited scale – holding that as long as millions remain classified as refugees, it has a job to do.

Still, fundamental questions continue to go unanswered: Who should be classified a Palestinian refugee? Should refugee status be hereditary forever – even for those who live in luxury? Who should be responsible for the Palestinians? And what is Israel’s role?

With neither Israel disappearing nor the Palestinian refugee issue nearing resolution, UNRWA persists as a central fault line in one of the world’s most protracted conflicts. Whether the agency serves as a crucial humanitarian lifeline or a political roadblock to lasting peace depends entirely on whom you ask.





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